Ava is stable for Ava today. She, of course, loved her massage and was full of Ava smiles. She looks comfortable for the most part. Sometimes she squitches around, but i think she she just wants to get comfortable, go potty and the like.
Allan and I were "checking in" with each other today. We need to be unified so we can whether this hurricane together. We need to know how we are emotionally and spiritually so that we can connect and support each other when it is necessary.
I am amazed at how God is pulling us together and toward Him. There is some advantage to having gone through this once already. (Yes I really did write that). We KNOW that we can do it and that we can survive it. We KNOW that we can thrive through it as well. It's a lot of hard work and it HAS to be intentional. But it will happen.
I will never stop asking God to restore Ava's fragile and beautiful little body while she is with me. I believe that God is capable of such a feat. But if He chooses not to, my faith and confidence in Him will not be shattered. It's a sticking point for many. God does not give us what we want. He gives us what is best for us and His kingdom. He gives us the grace and peace to handle what lies before us. He gives us the ability to have hope when we feel despair and our soul groans with sorrow, frustration and anger. We can feel Joy in the midst of sorrow.
God called Allan and myself to walk this walk. To feel all the emotions for which I have yet to identify or name. He blessed us with our 5 precious children whom we love as best we can with all we have. He gave us the ability to be see that though life is not scripted in a fashion that we could have anticipated or wanted to experience He knows what is best. If we persevere and press on we will be refined and will continue to have Joy and Hope through our sorrow and despair.
I am not looking forward to experiencing the depth of that pain again. I'm not thrilled that I most likely will have to. I will continue to put one foot in front of the other, get dressed, teach myself to care about baseball, love my babies and hopefully affect some change in the world of mitochondria.
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So well said. And I know you are living it as well. A day does not pass that I do not pray for strength and peace for all of you. God is so incredibly proud of you. You are His and He is yours. Miss seeing you, hope you will contact me if you need something, we are here. Kiss Ava for me and tell the other bugs Miss Kiley bought them something when she was out shopping for the Christmas tree. We will bring it by one day soon. (((hugs)))
ReplyDeleteAmy & Allan and bugs - you are all such a beautiful testiment to Him. That we can find beauty in such heartwrenching circumstances can only be attibuted to God. I pray everyday for my family in alphabetical order (don't ask why) but Ava is right there with my Anna. I love praying for my 2 A's and Ava has grown so dear to me. Thank you so much for sharing her with us. Miss you and much love!! Mary Teather
ReplyDeleteI can't tell you how much of an encouragement and inspirstion your words on this Blog are to me. Please know that through this hardship, God is strengthening so many people as we witness you and Allan trust Him and draw closer to Him.
ReplyDeleteGod's Peace,
Melissa
Here are lyrics to a hymn I find myself singing when I am praying for you. It's called "Grace" by Carolyn Hamlin.
ReplyDeleteLord, as I seek Your guidance for the day, I find my thoughts unyielding; confusion crowds my way. But then when I bow to You, the challenges You guide me through; Your promisies are ever new, I claim them for today. Your will cannot lead me where Your grace will not keep me. Your hand will protect me. I rest in Your care. Your eyes will watch over me, Your love will forgive me. And when I am faltering, I still will find You there.
Love you! Debbie
May God continue to bless you all. Continuing to pray in agreement for your miracle. Thank you both for obeying and sharing as the Holy Spirit imparts through your writing. I do know the Lord is proud of you...as parents and as individuals. So sorry you're going through this storm. Praying Baby Ava and you all have a powerful story to tell. "Though sorrow may last for a night, joy comes in the morning" --Psalms 30:5 Take care. Be strong. --Kristen from Youngstown area.
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