Elaina's Bedtime Conversation

For four and a half months now Elaina has been asking me "Mommy why Ava in Heaven?"
For four and a half months her answers to the question generally stay the same.
For four and a half months I watch my little buggie boo process death.

It's a tall order for someone who was 2 1/2 when her sister died.

For awhile there Elaina would tell me that she was a baby and then she died and then she came back and was big. (Not Oh-Fish-ally Big, I'm convinced that she will be 4 before that happens) just regular B-I-G.

Tonight Elaina asked me, "Mommy, why is Ava in Heaven?" (Even the question phrasing is maturing).

Following in my role, "Elaina, why is Ava in Heaven?"

"Mommy, she was sick. ummm what's next? Oh she went to the hospital and then she died."

"Elaina, does everybody who goes to the hospital die?"

"No."

"Right the hospital can help people get better too."

"Mommy, a lot of babies. No Some. No. Mommy, there are lots of babies that don't die. But Ava did. Can you get me a lot of books?"

"Mommy! That's not a lot of books!!!!!!!!"

"Mommy,When I feel my poopoos and peepees coming out I will runtothepotty."

"I LOVE YOU I LOVE YOU I LOVE YOU!"

Just like that within the parameters of routine our three year old builds on her understanding and takes another step.

I love to watch her organize her thoughts. I hate the topic.

Oh-Fishally

It has been a little busy around our house this last week. Our littlest bug turned 3 on Saturday. I can not believe where the time went. I found myself looking at her and wondering why she is so big. Then my eyes gaze over at the matching bugs and I am stunned once again. They are changing and growing up before my eyes. Allan tried to shrink Elaina, it didn't work.

Lately for the Potty Training adventures we've let Lain navigate the course. Mostly because I don't have the energy to put into the effort. The secondary reason is because we are so busy flitting from here to there this last week that we needed to not be trapped in the house.

Most of the time she tries to tell me that she is big. Elaina truly believed that when she turned three, she would be big. So when she tells me that she is big. I nicely inform her that she is not. She does not enjoy this (or anjoy it as Emmy spelled it by sounding it out this weekend) at all.

On the way to church yesterday she was happily chatting about being three, having a party "to celebrate me" and being big. "Mommy, I'm big. Right Mommy? I'm big."

"No you're not."

"MOMMY. I'm big! Yes I am. Look at me, I'm Long."

"No you're not." "Where do you put your peepees and poopoos?"

"I DON'T KNOW."

"Mommy, I'm big."

"You're getting there, but you are not officially big until you put ALL your peepees and poopoos in the potty, not your pull-up."

"Mommy, I'm oh-fishally big."

"Nope."

Did I mention that our Sunday Morning trek is a half an hour?

Guess who kept her pull-up dry through Sunday school and Family Fusion and the journey home? Guess who ran to the potty when she got home? "I'm big".

Oh there was a celebration, but there is no official biggness until....well, you know the drill.

Today, little Lain-Lain decided to use the potty of her own volition. She would tell me that she had to go and put what she said she had to do in the potty. (Imagine my excitement.)

After the second round, "Mommy, am I oh-fishally big, NOW?"

I told her that if she uses the potty all the time today and tomorrow, then on Wednesday she will be officially big and we will go buy a baby doll.

I don't want to spoil it, but she's doing great. Allan and I are just excited by the prospect that we may have found the hook.

The Saga Continues

Sooo, we were doing pretty well there for a bit and now littlest bug doesn't feel like Potty Training anymore. Here's the kicker. She's trained. She knows when to hold 'em and she knows when to fold 'em. She can control everything until she feels like getting treats.

So today, she's back in Pull Ups. She wants to wear her alligator underpants, Captain Hook is afraid of alligators, you know. She LOVES her underpants. I told her that she's all done potty training and that she can't wear her underpants. "But I want a chocolate chip!" No, you aren't ready to be a big girl. Once you decide then you can have your underpants on. Now you wear a Pull-Up which is a diaper so that means you are a baby and not big.

"Mommy I am BIG."
"As soon as you choose to use the potty, you will be big. Now you are a little."
-Did you know that little girls cannot wash hands by themselves, choose shows, tell mommies what to eat????

"Hey Mommy, I'm big."
"What are you wearing?"
"A Pull-up".
"Ok, you are not big yet."
Ok, so I am aware that what I am telling my daughter goes against all of Huggies' diligent advertising. Swimming up stream I am. Their theme song, "I'm a big kid now" does not apply here. The bottom line is that a Pull-up is nothing more than a reconfigured diaper that all three of my girls use as a crutch.

Alexa chimes in, "Elaina you can't have your birthday party!"
Of course she can have her birthday party, it just won't be a big girl celebration. It will be a birthday party.

So here we are at 9:57am on day 5. The strong-willed child has a pull-up on and the ball is in her court. Secretly I am hoping that she likes this new found control and makes up her mind to continue the journey. (Won't my parenting skills really shine then? Brilliant I am.)

Realistically, I realize that I lost.

Potty Training

Friday was the day. Da da Dummmmm. Elaina was out of diapers and we embarked on the dreaded time in parenting. Potty Training. I don't know if you have picked up on this by previous posts, but Elaina is a cunning, cute and smart little bug. There is nothing that she does that isn't calculated. Imagine the dread Allan and I feel knowing the time was drawing near.

Thursday morning Elaina was down to 5 diapers. I showed her the stack and said, "tomorrow we POTTY TRAIN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" I was seriously proud of myself for all the excitement I could muster for something I totally hate to do. My sweet daughter informed me that she didn't want to go to school or Vacation Bible School (2 things that require potty training) and that she's decided that she doesn't want to be big either. Then she looks at the diapers and tells me that we still have 5 more.

I tried to counter with: you don't have to go to school, you will always be my baby if you are potty trained, whatever you want to do sweetie. In my mind I was going down a list of ways to motivate the head strong little bug. Ok, a list of bribes. I really was formulating bribes.

The notion of always being my baby at her convenience seemed to stave off the opposition for the moment.

Just before bedtime I was online looking at underpants and called Lain over. At first she had to go save the castle, but she couldn't resist the kissing goldfishy underpants on the screen. She picked all her favorites and then said, "Mommy, can I do it NOW? Can I potty train now and can we go buy underpants in the dark?"

"OF COURSE you can and we can go to the mall in the dark to buy underpants".

Off we run to the potty where she sat down and peed. Homemade confetti was thrown, and there was much rejoicing. Lain looks at me and says, "now can we go buy underpants...in the dark?" Phone calls made, a chocolate chip was given. The bigger bugs were left in a puddle of tears as they wanted to go on this special trip. Lain looks at both of them and says, "Emmylexa it's ok. You can't come. I have to go on my special date with Mommy to buy underpants....in the dark." Off we went with Dumbo (who also needed underpants) leaving Daddy with the sulky twins.

On the highway I hear from the back seat "UNDERPANTS HERE WE COME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" Once we came home there was a fashion show, a bath and bed.

DAY 1: Elaina remembers her underpants and we were off. Except that she didn't want to sit on the potty. So she had 2 tiny accidents for which she told me that "thems surprised me". As she was eating her breakfast she had a flood. She looked at me and said, "Mommy it's happening again! This isn't working. Now I can't eat my dinner." We talked about just learning and that she needs to try the potty. Throughout the day we did some better and she was into it.

DAY 2: There were signs of some improvement and ability to control. However, she was all done with the training after nap since she needed to poo poo. Since she tends to willfully control that area of her life we aren't going to force the issue and let her go in a pull up. At one point we just made cookies and she wanted another snitch. I told her I only give snitches to those who obey Mommy and sit on the potty when asked. Guess who ran to the potty, sat on it and put pee pee in it within one minute???? Thankfully that was my last interaction for the day since I had to work last night. Allan was left wit h the illustrious honor of creatively trying to encourage her, guide her, bribe her all the while let her think she is in charge, which is really her favorite thing in life. By the way nothing will work unless she chooses to.

Day 3: Girlfriend really needs to go so she doesn't want to try and put her pee pee in the potty. We tried before church, nothing. She wore a Pull-Up to church, she kept it dry. She watched and entire Mickey-Mouse Clubhouse on the potty. Nothing. She drank a sippy of milk and had Lemonade at lunch. Refusal. We began to tease her (she likes that). "We will put you in the snow until you are potty trained." "No you won't because that will make me miss Ava."

"Elaina, your baby just told me that she wants you to show her how to potty train." Elaina puts her on the floor, pretends she pees and is all done.

"Elaina, your baby just told me she wants you to potty train." She hold her baby up to her ear and says, "She said no potty train."

"Hey girls I guess if Elaina can't sit on the potty and obey like a big girl then we will have to treat her like a baby." Then I explain to the big bugs what that means, including that she can't get out of the room because babies don't move. Girlfriend comes into the room with her baby saying, "watch Mommy. Watch, Daddy." She proceeds to hold her baby's hands and makes her walk. Then she looks at us and says, "See she walks. She can move."

Finally while writing this, she had a drip in her underpants and stopped the accident. Refused to sit on the potty. Then asked for Mickey Mouse Clubhouse. (SURE!) She sits on the potty, drinks more lemonade, lets out a dribble and oh the celebration! I told her the more pee pee she puts in the more chocolate chips she gets, so at the Mystery Mousekatool, she should try again. She runs to the potty and says she can't b/c we forgot to empty it. (Personally I think she likes to make us run around like idiots.) Fresh potty. Child sits and pee pees! 2 chocolate chips!

Playing child. "I feel my pee pees coming out." Run to the potty, false alarm. Play. "I feel my pee pees coming out." Run to the potty (times 5 Bentons). Oh the celebration!!! The Joy!!! Now we get 2 chips for pee pee and 1 for feeling pee pees and running to the potty. (It's the take care of Laina chip.)

Playing child. O, "I feel my pee pees coming out!" Run. Sit. Pee pee. Raucous Celebration. Three Chips.

Somebody is eeking out the pee pee to get the maximum chips I think. So I am left to wonder, who really is letting who think she is in charge?