Four Little Ladybugs

Ava just got back from the biopsy. Everything went well (as expected). Only minimal anesthesia was used, which is an answer to prayer.

Blood was drawn after the procedure. Her lactate is slightly elevated (7.8), but this could partially be due to the "trauma" of the biopsy. We hope this will level off again once full feeds are resumed. Of greater concern is a low hemoglobin, which means she will need a transfusion. We just got to cross of the last thing on our list that we so did not want to do to her, but we still couldn't avoid this, which stinks. She needs it; it will help her. But in a week and a half of haunting memories, this brings back possibly one of the most painful for me. Because of everything we had to do to Eric, who was at least 4 pounds bigger at addmission, he also needed a transfusion. He was actively dieing. His blood pressure had tanked. Our nurse that evening, who had not previously been assigned to Eric had so much hope: "Once we get this blood into him, you are going to see a world of difference..." she would say. But in my heart I knew otherwise. And I was right. There was no improvement, and he died shortly afterward.

This is different. She is different. She can take this. It will help her. And I still hold on to hope...

-Allan