Tax Time

This week I tackled the taxes. I finally stopped thinking of all the other things I could do instead and went for it. After a day of neglecting the children and wondering what I needed to click to make our liability in PA go away I wrangled them, clicked print and was victorious.

This year I realized that I can deduct medical expenses. I found myself wading through a quagmire of paperwork and receipts, wracking my brain to see which of our contributions are pre-taxable and on the phone every 10 minutes or so with my Dad for moral support. (For those of you who know me, numbers ain't my bag but they are for Mr. Spreadsheet.)

As I flipped and scrolled through our documentation checking, calculating and double checking I found my emotions change as the dates on the EOB progressed. Suddenly I was not recording information, I was reliving every step of the way. Each appointment that Ava had. Each ray of hope. Each depth of despair.

I realized that that little girl was not here very long. In the hospital and in our home it felt so much longer. On paper, just like that, it was over and she was gone. I realized that she came out fighting with all she had and never gave up. I realized that I am grateful for my tubal so that I will never have to watch another one of my children live in that way. I realized that I would trade with my kids in a heartbeat so that they would not have to endure that harshness in life.

Then I realized the impact she had on so many and on our little family. It wasn't long we got to have that sweet baby girl, but it was big.

The other thing I noticed was how God provided for our family through that time and now. In the midst of my tornado when all we could do was focus on Ava and hang on by a thread, all of our needs, tenfold, were cared for, fulfilled and multiplied. I have no idea where or how half of what came came. But there it was, not a moment too soon. Not a moment too late. You see, God's timing is just plain perfect.

For the first half of the year our girls were more healthy than usual. This preserved some of our funds for the medical expenses to come. God took care of EVERY DETAIL. I never would have had the honor to see it laid in front of me if I skipped that section on my tax return.

I am so amazed by this, I don't even have the words to accurately describe it. In the service we went to today that pastor mentioned that we need to worship God even if the timing of it doesn't make sense. That is so true, we need to take "time out" to worship even if your sauce will burn on the bottom of the pan. We also need to live on faith, knowing that He will provide, even when the timing and the how's don't make sense. There is something freeing to not be tied to those chains of comfort and security.

Dave Ramsey says, "You have to live like no one else to LIVE like no one else." He is talking about financial freedom and wealth. I can also apply it to living on faith and trust that the Lord will and does provide. If we obey what He calls us to, He will make the rest work out. There is such a freedom in that. Sometime we don't want to obey the "rules" God has for us. We don't want to be "tethered" and accountable. But it's the opposite. By following Him we are "living like no one else to LIVE like no one else". There is freedom and peace in that.

Amazing. I was just doing some taxes. I get to learn all of this AND file an amended return for 2008 (I skipped the medical deduction then and realized I could have taken it). I can tell you that I also learned that Quicken is the way to go for 2010's medical expenses.