2 month checkup

Ava had her 2 month check up today and again, I come away with the same message: either we have a preemie who needs hearing aids or she has a mitochondrial disease. One main area of concern is that Ava is still not gaining weight quickly. She's gaining but not as expected. I, of course, freaked out when we put her on the scale. The pediatrician did a great job pointing out to me that her head and her length are on the same curve and making good progress. He said that she is growing and she is prioritizing brain growth and length and doesn't have many calories left over for weight. I am trying to decide what is best for little Ava. Currently I am going to have to make a more concerted effort to pump and supplement or just give her expressed breast milk. I don't want to switch her to formula so that I can make sure I am giving her all the nutrition and antibodies she needs especially in light of the looming flu season. This is really stressful for me so I would really appreciate prayer. It would be so much easier if we knew why she isn't gaining well. Is it because I don't have enough time to nurse her for long periods multiple times a day? Is it because she doesn't have an efficient suck or that she burns more calories nursing? Could it be because she is tongue tied? Or is it because she is long and lean like her Daddy and this is how she grows? OR is it a greater problem for which we are waiting for a diagnosis? If I had a better idea why I may be more inclined to more aggressively pursue supplementation. I do know she looks fantastic and is clearly not starved. So there's that.

After her examination the doctor did tell me that he thinks Ava's tone is good and appropriate. He also tells me that he sees a difference in her developmentally and in strength. Any progress is always reassuring and encouraging.

Ava also got lots of blood work back. All looks to be pretty good. Of all the values that they have been testing (like 45) only two are not exactly perfect. One is a little high, one a little low. Our pediatrician said that if we were to study any one's blood like we are Ava's we'd probably find a few values off. So what this tells us that things are encouraging for the now. None of the labs that are back yet are diagnostic but give us a picture of her overall metabolic health. Of course the one value that is a little high is her lactic acid level and that was high in Eric. Now it was high a few weeks ago and we were told by 2 geneticists that it was OK and it was nothing to worry about. This result is the same difference higher, but on a different scale and a different type of lab draw. So I really want to talk with the geneticist and or our counselor to see what they think of that. Of course, after 2 voicemail messages, she hasn't called me back after her message yesterday. Am I annoyed??? Yup.

It's been an emotional day. We got encouraging news about Ava and I find myself focusing on the little things wrong. I don't like doing it. It frustrates me. I know that all we are seeing and are being told right now is any body's guess. Because no matter what blood sample we draw or what specialist observes our baby, only God knows what Ava's next step is. He loves her and He loves us. There is nothing we can do to change Ava, but we can remember that our strength comes from Him and our future is in His hands.