Traffic Jam

I can't believe how debilitating thoughts can be. My mind has been so consumed lately I feel like I am spinning my wheels. I have ideas about the Foundation, as well as a hefty to do list. There are book ideas and bracelets (which now include rings and necklaces). There are ideas about advocacy and support.

These all seem compartmentalized, but they really seem like they will link together under one umbrella The Joy-Hope Foundation. I really don't know the how's but I feel it. I go but gut a lot so I'm gonna keep on with this one.

Of course there are the basics of daily life- three little ones who seem to think that if I am sitting, they need to be on top of me and jockey for position. Laundry, food, housing projects, bills, yard work, shopping and little tiny pieces of EVERYTHING all over the house. Then there is the fun of summer to go out and snatch.

Each thing is all normal things of life. We paint pictures and objects. But when we do it I ask a question like,"how many kids do I have?" as I try to get the right number of plates for palette making. Three little ones shout, "THREE!" One little bug says, "Mommy, but you used to have 5." I say, "But it's OK to have 3 right now." And a painting we will go.

When my mind is so crammed, I find that I literally walk in circles. Stop halfway through something and take a break. Then I get annoyed with myself and my abilities to complete anything. I take a step back. I pray. I ash God for His timing and patience while I wait.

I then find that I have to keep it moving. Something happens and a string of half thoughts/ideas gets pulled together and we are off and running with all lanes open. Sometimes the speed limit is slower than others. Sometimes I wish the posted limit would be slower. What we are setting out to do is big. It's hard not to see how it's going to form, knowing that it is.

All of it is in God's timing. If I know anything my timing is not remotely correct and His is perfect.