A Gift

On the way to our niece's birthday party today we talked about how Ava went to the hospital on The bigger bugs' birthday (say that 10 times fast). They were expressing how they were sad that she got "sick" on that day. They asked my why she was crying and they were thinking that it was because she didn't want to leave them.

I confided that I have been upset about Ava going to the hospital on their birthday as well. They each confided that they are sad and upset about it too.

I told the bugs that Ava was probably crying because she couldn't breath well and that she was uncomfortable and needed help. Then I realized that I began to notice that she was having intermittent issues since the Thursday prior to her admission. She has a doctor appointment on Thurs, and was said to be fine. I went back to work Fri, Sat and Sun. her breathing was eating at me and I was hoping that she would make it through the weekend. I have been beating myself up that I didn't get her help sooner. Knowing that the only thing that I would have done was bought a few more days away from home.

It dawned on me. Ava was fighting her way thorough and I thing she was trying to stay with us the best she could. She was home on the bugs birthday. They got to hold her, kiss her and love her in their arms. If she went to the hospital anytime sooner, they wouldn't have been able to even see her. There were no visitors under the age of 16 at the time due to the H1N1 Virus. I told the girls that Ava tried to stay with us as long as she could. Her little body needed help but she fought long enough that they could be together on their birthday.

As I write this I realize that since I've been focused on the negative of that day I missed the fact that Emily and Alexa and Elaina got to each hold their sister for the last time, on Emily and Alexa's Birthday. The pictures we have are solum. The bugs knew that this was big. But the gift that they were given was priceless. What a present.