Tuesday, July 26, 2011

Arms Length

There's been a steady stream of unsavory news from many friends lately. Some is a big deal, some could become a big deal, some a big deal in the moment, but will end up a blip on the screen.

When I was telling the Bugs about the latest friends who are in need of prayer, Emily pipes up and says, "What is happening to our friends?" I was thinking the same thing!

Yesterday a Facebook friend posted that she was "feeling blue". Two weeks ago I was talking with someone at our church and found out that his wife is a cancer survivor. Allan and I noticed some years back that he was going with some "Surfer Hair" and then suddenly it was cut. We assumed he got a new job. Nope. Locks of Love for his love.

I am being made aware right now that we will all hallowed hall at some point in time. Depending on where I am in my walk will greatly impact my ability to reach out and listen. The people we encounter day in day out are faceless strangers, an acquaintance, a good friend, even family. But as we rub shoulders and get annoyed for the invasion of our personal space do we really KNOW what is going on in their lives?

I sometimes feel guilty that seemingly the whole world rallied around our family in our time of crisis, yet I can't seem to get it together enough to rally and support all those who are in need.

Some days, with laundry piled up and a pantry seemingly bare it's hard to dig into my hollow emotions and empathize, support, love those around me. Instead, I hold the bad news at arms length- "Whew, I don't really know them. Now I don't have to rally." "Wow that stinks, well it's their walk now."

See if I let their crisis into my soul, into my heart, I am afraid that I will fall apart. I live in a delicately balanced state of comfort, peace, emotion. Of course it's OK to be grateful that a particular crisis is not ours to walk. I don't know too many people who would be jumping up and down with arms raised to walk our walk. I think that is OK to feel that way. What is not OK is to brush it off and not follow up in someway. Even through the darkest times, I know that I care. I may not be able to be there in a way I usually would. But I will pray. But I will still stay an arms length away.

I feel like I am waking up to the world around me now. I am capable of looking outside our little world we are desperately trying to rebuild and redefine. As I take my baby steps back out into society I have to hunker down and be ready for all the crappy situations that happen to people to hit me like a ton of bricks. I have to remember that while it is that person's walk and experience but I can support, love, pray and be there for that person.

I can not believe how broken we all are. How we struggle to hang on to what is good and what we think is right. I can not believe how much God loves me and how as I move through each day that He gives me He protects me. I am amazed at the protection He provides for all of us. Just because the situation may not be ideal, the circumstances may even be horrific, but yet there He is loving and protecting us. That is the Good that I am going to hang on to. The Good that comes from the the One who protects and loves me no matter what I do or don't do.